Pride comes before a fall, as the Bible says. Pride is regarded by many as the worst of sins and one that gives rise to other sins. There are quite a few synonyms for pride — vanity, conceit, hubris, boasting (more of an action associated with pride), come to mind.
However, we might be, as my parents did to me, urged to "take pride in our work" or "ourselves" which seems a strange thing to say, if pride was such an awfully wrong thing, why would someone be "proud of something" and admit to it, if pride was supposed to be a terrible sin. "I am proud of you, son/daughter, because…"
The word Pride and also Proud are in common use today in very many different contexts, but probably most famously, the annual parades and events held in cities all over the world for by the LGBTQ communities to celebrate their identities and rights and to make their communities VISIBLE where before (and sadly many parts of the world, still) are suppressed. "Gay Pride marches" as they were once known, were very much a political demonstration against the establishment that had laws that made being anything other than heterosexual very very difficult, if not completely illegal. The problem was, that in the view of the governments, homosexuality was an aberration and regarded as deviant and perverted and in fact dangerous for society. Even after some countries started to decriminalise "sodomy" or "buggery" as they termed it, they still had severe restrictions on what homosexual people could do. In the UK, there was the the infamous "Section 28" that forbade the teaching that homosexuality was in any way comparable to heterosexuality, and homosexual teachers were prohibited from sharing that truth with their students. This would apply to both gay and lesbian teachers. In fact most LGBT teachers would have had to "act straight" to all but their lovers, as if it became known that a teacher is gay, they could, and still can in some countries be sacked for that fact alone. Those restrictions of which I have only mentioned a few, gave rise to the community deciding that they had had enough of running away and hiding, and that it was what gave rise to the Stonewall riots in New York and Gay Pride protest marches. Here is the irony, that a movement comprised largely by people who are deemed "sinners" by the establishment chose to label their protests with a name of a sin, not only is it sin, but, as I said above, but the worst of sins. Some might say that that proves the point - Pride is so conceited and full of itself - it even shouts its name through the streets. Surely, with this event so clearly labelled any Christian, even if they perceive themselves to be gay, should give this event a very wide berth. As communities in different countries have made significant progress in terms of rights for their LGBTQ citizens, pride events have become less about protest, and more about celebration. I do not perceive that the event name Pride, is boasting or sinful for that matter.
There has in the last year emerged about the way in which Pride features loudly in society. In the realm of politics in the United States, there has grown a movement of "National Pride" - and a group calling themselves "Proud boys" they are not children, who have taken patriotism to such an extreme that it is hostile to anyone, even other citizens who they deem to be inferior. "White Pride" is a neo-Nazi movement. This movement is very different to LGBTQ pride events.
There is a sense in which Pride is perfectly acceptable and I hope this blog will help to unpack that a bit. So I want to look at pride from many different perspectives. Try and get to get a fuller picture.
In 1980, Mac Davis released his song, "Oh Lord it's hard to be humble".
The lyrics are:
Chorus:
Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble
When you're perfect in every way
I can't wait to look in the mirror
Cause I get better lookin' each day
To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man
Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble
But I'm doin' the best that I can!
I used to have a girlfriend
But I guess she just couldn't compete
With all of these love-starved women
Who keep clamoring at my feet
Well I could probably find me another
But I guess they're all in awe of me
Who cares? I never get lonesome
Cause I treasure my own company.
Ohhhhhh...
(chorus)
I guess you could say I'm a loner
A cowboy outlaw, tough and proud
Well, I could have lotsa friends if I wanted,
But then I wouldn't stand out from the crowd
Some folks say that I'm "egotistical",
Hell, I don't even know what that means!
I guess it has something to do with the way
That I fill out my skin-tight blue jeans
Ohhhhhh...
come on, where's all the kickers in here?!
(chorus)
Mac of course was being humourous and I am sure did not really think he was perfect. Sadly, there are people in our world who do think that they are perfect. The lyrics do give us a really good idea of what this kind of pride does. It puffs up.
It makes the person feel that they are superior to everyone else.
"With all these love starved women clamouring at my feet"
They believe that they're totally self sufficient.
"Who cares? I never get lonesome cause I treasure my own company".
In truth, people who are full of themselves, are very difficult people to be around, because ironically, they are in desperate need of constant affirmation, and cannot abide any whiff of disagreement or disapproval of anything that they do. When they are confronted with disagreement, they tend to lash out and be very nasty. Regardless of who that person is, they could be lifelong friends, they can become persona-non-grata in an instant. I am not a psychiatrist, but I understand that sadly, these people have a mental illness. These extreme cases are of course relatively rare.
But I think we are all susceptible to the temptation to pride to a more limited effect, maybe in a specific content of our lives, and if we look at some of the behaviours that characterise the extremes we might see them at play in some part of our lie. What are these behaviours?
Boasting/Bragging. My friend posted the following comment on a photo of himself on Facebook: "Dark and lovely 😂😂😂, if you know, you know. This berry is darker and has some excellent years of maturing 🤣. This year embrace yourself and do some modest and humorous bragging 😊" - I was amused by the notion of "modest bragging" because of course, you would not be bragging if you were modest. Bragging is the act of telling others about (what you perceive to be) your great achievements or qualities. Being modest is to try and divert attention away from yourself and not tell people anything positive about yourself. Like Mac, my friend was being humorous. He gave me permission to share that quote. But when the bragging is not being humorous, but done in all seriousness, it is not attractive at all. While I agree that people can be too humble too, but someone who continuously brags about how good they are, or how great their children are (I think that bragging about one's children is a more common form of this unfortunate trait) can be a real drain on conversation. It is actually better to let others speak highly of you or your achievements and personal qualities.
Intolerance of disagreement or different opinions. In social media, lots of different opinions and ideas are expressed, covering many different aspects of our lives. Particularly, but not only, in the area of politics, there are very polarised and strong opinions. Quite often, they will react very harshly, if someone disagrees with them or fact-checks some assertion. It can become violent and dangerous, where people threaten people with violence and people get death threats. It's worth asking ourselves, how do we cope with disagreement?
A sense of superiority. This may not be purely on an individual basis. The root of racism is the notion that one is superior because they belong to a certain race. It was this sort of pride that resulted in the deaths of millions at the hands of Germany's Nazi party, killing six million Jewish people, and many others - Gypsies as well. This notion of superiority has been the cause of many other genocides in our history. If it is not race, it may be religion. Genocide is the intentional action to destroy a people—usually defined as an ethnic, national, racial, or religious group—in whole or in part. (Wikipedia article on Genocides). As a Christian, I will say that this notion of being religiously superior is a common factor in many religions, if not all of them. Most people believe that their grasp of religious truth is the right one, and by that reasoning conclude that others who do not share their beliefs are wrong. Even people who are professed atheists, can be extremely dogmatic in their atheism, and extremely condescending to people of faith. Even within religions, this superiority can rip communities to bits. As many people have noted, many wars are started on a religious pretext. In Northern Ireland, for example, it was a struggle between the Catholics and the Protestants. But even on an individual level, I think that whatever your view on religion is, you should be open enough to accept that others differing views and beliefs are just as valid as your own. We should be able to respect another person's faith even if we don't share it, and it is better to speak of your own beliefs without pointedly denouncing the beliefs of others (in the realm of religion. A big facet of religion is the concept of morality, with all religions having some moral code, and classification of good behaviour and bad behaviour, with rewards and punishments attached. I think most religions have some ultimate reward for the "faithful" and an ultimate fate or destination for those who are deemed to be "evil". Most moral codes can overlap and are quite similar in the behaviour that is characterized as good or bad. I am not aware of any religion that commends theft as a virtue. I think that most religions have a high and positive view of love. But those who have a religious superiority, may tend to characterise people who don't belong to their group in a very negative way. They will say things like "the only good ------- is a dead ------". Also,they will not allow people of different faiths and beliefs to explain their beliefs to them, but will, often arrogantly believe that they know more about that religion than even the highest proponents of that religion. No matter what you might say to correct the person, they will say that they know better, or that you are either lying or have been lied to. In the early days of Christianity, Christians were accused of being cannibals because they "are the flesh and drank the blood of Christ" - it was a very mistaken belief based on a misunderstanding of the Christian practice of Communion, partaking of the body and blood of Christ in the form of bread and wine. Sadly misconceptions of religious groups allows for many other such nasty and malicious mischaracterisations. If you are going to condemn something of a different religion or viewpoint, at the very least, first read about it from a person who is a proponent, and ensure it is actually what you think it is. I know, that many good and sincere Christians have attacked the Theory of Evolution and "Darwinism" without actually knowing what the Theory of Evolution actually is and never having read anything about except, maybe, what may have been written by the critics of the Theory of Evolution. They are arguing against something they know nothing about. That just makes them look silly. It's like someone who has never played football and knows nothing about the rules, criticising a referee for a decision the referee made. Football referees have to be qualified if they are match officials of professional games.
S T O P P R E S S
6 January 2021 - Washington DC. Pro-Trump Demonstrators turn rioters and storm the US Capitol, where the joint session of Senate and House of Representatives were doing the last Constitutionally required step to Confirm the election of Joseph R Biden as the Next President and Kamala Harris as the next Vice President. The session had to be suspended and the Senators and members of Congress evacuated to places of safety.
These are the words of Mitt Romney (UT-R) in response to this: Now we gather due to a selfish man's injured pride and outraged supporters who he has deliberately misinformed for the past two months and stirred to action this very morning. What happened here was an insurrection incited by the President of the United States. Those who choose to support his dangerous gambit by objecting to the results of a legitimate, democratic election will forever be seen as being complicit in an unprecedented attack against our democracy.
I was going to try and avoid direct references to current personalities, but these events were such a clear illustration of the consequences of Pride as described above that I had to include this quote from Senator Romney.
I think the events and what lead up to them with the President's speech earlier where he directly told them to march on the Capitol, show one other manifestation of Pride - the inability to accept that you are wrong, or that you have been defeated.
So much for the negative kind of pride. But unlike Theft, adultery, lust and murder, pride carries with it a connotation that is not negative, but actually quite the opposite..
As I was walking through the supermarket, I saw the beer called "London Pride" and then I saw this:
I liked it so much, I brought it:
The word Pride exists in society in many different contexts where it is seen as a good thing. The word Pride exists in many songs. And I came across a magazine called Pride Magazine,t hat literally takes pride in the local area. Here is "Lincolnshire Pride Magazin
But for those who are of the mindset that Pride is only ever a bad thing, there are a few verses from Scripture that suggest otherwise.
This is what the Lord says:
“Let not the wise boast of their wisdom
or the strong boast of their strength
or the rich boast of their riches,but let the one who boasts boast about this:
that they have the understanding to know me,
that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,”
declares the Lord.
Jeremiah 9:23-24
26 Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”[d]
1 Cor 1:26-31
8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest seeon me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10
We ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters,[a] and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love all of you have for one another is increasing. 4 Therefore, among God’s churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring.
5 All this is evidence that God’s judgment is right, and as a result you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering.
2 Thessalonians 1:3-5
15 That is why I am so eager to preach the gospel also to you who are in Rome.
16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile. 17 For in the gospel the righteousness of God is revealed—a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: “The righteous will live by faith.”
Romans 1:15-17
These verses refer to boasting and not being ashamed. It suggests that the boasting is okay, even desirable, if you are "boasting about the Lord" and what God has done.
The opposite of being ashamed, might be regarded as being proud. I would say that if you are not ashamed you will have no problem talking about that thing you are not ashamed of. We live in a society and culture that does try and pile on shame and self-loathing on individuals for many things, where it is completely underserved. I know, as a gay man, from a very young age I was made to feel ashamed of my sexual orientation and those "less manly" aspects of my personality. Will Young calls it "gay shame" in his book "To be a Gay Man" . The kind of pride that says "I am not ashamed" is in my view a good kind of pride. I wish there were two different words to describe these different kinds of pride, someone might say that Boasting in the Lord and Not being ashamed are not the same as pride. That is a fair statement but only if you disregard every instance where pride is used in a positive sense.
I have noticed that there are quite a number of references to "good boasting" or as it is translated "pride in some English versions, in the book of 2 Corinthians. I am quoting from The New International Version. Bear in mind that the Greek of the word "pride" or "proud" is the same as the word for boasting.
We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart. 2 Cor 5:12
I have spoken to you with great frankness; I take great pride in you. I am greatly encouraged; in all our troubles my joy knows no bounds. 2 Cor 7:4
New International Version (NIV)
I had boasted to him about you, and you have not embarrassed me. But just as everything we said to you was true, so our boasting about you to Titus has proved to be true as well.
LPNew Living Translation
I had told him how proud I was of you—and you didn’t disappoint me. I have always told you the truth, and now my boasting to Titus has also proved true! 2 Cor 7:14 - (NLT for translation as NIV doesn't use "pride" in this context).
NIV: For I know your eagerness to help, and I have been boasting about it to the Macedonians, telling them that since last year you in Achaia were ready to give; and your enthusiasm has stirred most of them to action.
Contemporary English Version
I know how eager you are to give. And I have proudly told the Lord's followers in Macedonia that you people in Achaia have been ready for a whole year. Now your desire to give has made them want to give. 2 Cor 9:2
7 You are judging by appearances. a If anyone is confident that they belong to Christ, they should consider again that we belong to Christ just as much as they do. 8 So even if I boast somewhat freely about the authority the Lord gave us for building you up rather than tearing you down, I will not be ashamed of it. 9 I do not want to seem to be trying to frighten you with my letters. 10 For some say, “His letters are weighty and forceful, but in person he is unimpressive and his speaking amounts to nothing.”
11 Such people should realize that what we are in our letters when we are absent, we will be in our actions when we are present.
12 We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. 13 We, however, will not boast beyond proper limits, but will confine our boasting to the sphere of service God himself has assigned to us, a sphere that also includes you. 14We are not going too far in our boasting, as would be the case if we had not come to you, for we did get as far as you with the gospel of Christ. 15Neither do we go beyond our limits by boasting of work done by others. Our hope is that, as your faith continues to grow, our sphere of activity among you will greatly expand, 16so that we can preach the gospel in the regions beyond you. For we do not want to boast about work already done in someone else’s territory. 17But, “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.” 18 For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends. 2 Cor 10:7-18
Sorry about the lengthy quote here, but I think it is really useful to see Paul is addressing two types of boasting Verse 8 talks about the authority Paul speaks with in matters of faith, and he states "I will not be ashamed of it" In verse 12, Paul is being very sarcastic "We dare not classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves" He is saying that they measure themselves by themselves. It is like they all stroke each others egos and tell each other what wonderful people they are. In today's language, they listen to their own echo-chamber. Verse 18 sums it up nicely - It is not ones who commend themselves that are approved but the one the Lord commends.
There is a vast difference between on the one hand, owning who you are as a person, accepting who you and being confident in that identity, and most crucially, not feeling ashamed of something that in and of itself is not shameful, and on the other hand, being "full of oneself" , puffed up with a very much exaggerated sense of your own importance, with the arrogance that looks down on other people and demanding respect from others that you do not deserve. We should not have to demand respect, and if you do demand it, you won't get it - you may get people pretending to respect you, maybe out of fear of what you might do, but deep down people will simply despise you. Respect really does need to be earned.
Respect is usually earned by respecting others and appreciating other people. Caring about the wellbeing of people in your circle. Taking time to engage with and taking an interest in them generally. It is trying, at least to remember key things about people, like at a very minimum, their names. (I know that is harder for some than others, but the effort is usually appreciated).
I think that we can be proud of achievements, without being arrogant. I can be proud if, for example, I run a marathon and complete it. If, hypothetically, I won the race, that would be a great achievement, and I would be justified in feeling proud - that's good pride - I could take my lap of honour and enjoy the cheering crowd's adulation.
However, if I then proceeded to mock the other runners and call them "Losers" I have moved from good pride to bad pride. Good pride does not put others down.
So, thank you if you have read this long essay. It has been written over a number of days, and has been a very interesting thought journey. I hope it is uplifting and encouraging. Do feel free to comment and let me know your thoughts on the topic of "Pride".
